Cappuccino Comes in One Size — Depresso Coffee T-Shirt

There is a size chart in every café in the world, and it lies to you constantly. Small, medium, large — as if a cappuccino is something that scales. It isn't. A cappuccino is a ratio. Espresso, steamed milk, foam, in proportions that were settled before you were born and will remain settled long after you've moved on to something you'll regret less.

And yet. Somewhere, someone is currently asking for a "large cappuccino," and somewhere else, a barista is dying quietly on the inside while agreeing to make it. This shirt exists for that barista. And for the rest of us, watching from a safe distance, feeling vindicated.

Cappuccino only comes in one size. So does dignity. You either have both, or you're ordering a Frappuccino and we can no longer help you.

This is not a shirt that asks a question. It states a fact, quietly, on the left chest, in the kind of type that suggests the matter is already closed. No further negotiation is available. No further negotiation was ever available.

Wear it to the café that got your order wrong. Wear it to brunch, where someone will inevitably order a "skinny oat cappuccino, extra hot, half-caf" and you will simply point.