{"product_id":"cappuccino-comes-in-one-size-depresso-coffee-t-shirt","title":"Cappuccino Comes in One Size — Depresso Coffee T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThere is a size chart in every café in the world, and it lies to you constantly. Small, medium, large — as if a cappuccino is something that scales. It isn't. A cappuccino is a ratio. Espresso, steamed milk, foam, in proportions that were settled before you were born and will remain settled long after you've moved on to something you'll regret less.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd yet. Somewhere, someone is currently asking for a \"large cappuccino,\" and somewhere else, a barista is dying quietly on the inside while agreeing to make it. This shirt exists for that barista. And for the rest of us, watching from a safe distance, feeling vindicated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCappuccino only comes in one size. So does dignity. You either have both, or you're ordering a Frappuccino and we can no longer help you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not a shirt that asks a question. It states a fact, quietly, on the left chest, in the kind of type that suggests the matter is already closed. No further negotiation is available. No further negotiation was ever available.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to the café that got your order wrong. Wear it to brunch, where someone will inevitably order a \"skinny oat cappuccino, extra hot, half-caf\" and you will simply point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, breathable unisex fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLeft-chest print, so the joke stays quiet until someone leans in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTrue to size — order your usual, if you still remember what that is\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: Heavyweight fabric (6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²))\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: Relaxed fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: Pre-shrunk 100% ring-spun US cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: Sewn-in label\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Comfort Colors® 1717, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: Made in Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Berry \/ S","offer_id":60691856949582,"sku":"26012543352079762299","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":60691856982350,"sku":"31845120983658521029","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ S","offer_id":60691857015118,"sku":"12175394707614346126","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":60691857047886,"sku":"19269007550808060508","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ 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